Crime & Safety News

How to Spot a Meth Lab


CNN-Money posted an article yesterday that I found interesting. It’s entitled “How to Spot a Meth Lab”, and it caught my attention because Rio Linda is often derided as Methamphetamine Central by local news crews, struggling comediennes, and SacBee know-it-all’s.

Funny thing is, the article doesn’t actually tell you how to spot a meth lab. Instead it reads like a promotion for a meth lab cleanup company.

The one bit of information I benefited from is a link to the DEA’s National Clandestine Laboratory Register. Clicking on California gave up a long list of addresses of former meth labs, organized by county.



There’s a couple in Elverta, and that’s disappointing. I also see Citrus Heights, Elk Grove, Galt, Rancho and Sacramento… a lot of Sacramento.

What I don’t see is Rio Linda.

This supports what I’ve been saying all along. Rio Linda is more Mayberry than Meth lab.

We might make our own inside jokes about Rio-tucky… about shotgun weddings among cousins… about bathing in the creek… about chicken manure being a cure-all… about the runoff from McClellan AFB making us all just a -little- different… but they’re jokes and we know they’re jokes. Humor shared among families and friends who have lived here for a hundred years now, in some cases.

But it’s no joke that you can throw a stick in any direction and probably hit two relatives, three classmates and your old Little League or High School football coach.

People who perpetuate the stereotype based on hearsay or what they hear on the Rush Limbaugh show are just obnoxious, and ill-informed.

(I have to pause right here and acknowledge that Limbaugh was busted for doctor shopping to feed his “Hillbilly Heroin” addiction. Et tu, Limbo?)

We’re definitely having a problem with tweekers and vagrants and homeless in Rio Linda right now, and it’s not pretty. As far as tweeks per square yard, it’s dense, and that’s a problem that many of us are starting to address head-on with the Board of Supervisors and the Sacramento County Sheriff.

But it’s good to know that the meth isn’t coming from Rio Linda.

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